You Have to Ask

Have you ever been afraid to ask for a raise, promotion, new client, or a favor? You probably have. I’ve faced this fear throughout my whole career. I believe overcoming the fear of asking is key to success.

I interviewed over 50 entrepreneurs on my former podcast. I’ve listened to the interviews many times to extract lessons for my own business and career. One of the reoccurring points I kept coming across was that we must overcome our unfounded fears.

You don't get what you don't ask for

This doesn't mean we should pester people or solicit them constantly. However, we need to muster up the courage to make the ask. Failure isn’t rejection, failure is not asking in the first place.

I recently went through a process of reviewing all of my 3,000-plus Facebook friends. Obviously, most aren’t close friends at all, some I don’t even know.

The truth of such online (or offline) friendships is we can only truly manage 150 relationships. British anthropologist, Robin Dunbar, published a study in the 1990s that broke that number down further: 50 who are close friends and 15 who are your closest friends. 

It's interesting to note that these friends can often drift in and out of different groups within this number. His study is famously known as “Dunbar’s number”.

I composed a Facebook message and began asking most people who I consider a friend to help me promote my Communication Reboot improv for business workshop. And guess what, most of them happily did. Only one person said no. By asking my friends to help me spread the word, I hope my message spreads to new people who become clients. When they do, I will know it was a result of my asking for the favor. Side note, this is also a good exercise to realize who your true friends are, they are the ones who are happy to help you.

I write a lot about the power of networking nicely (you're here, right?). A big focus is to strive to help others first. You will find you get a much better response from such asks when you make a continued effort to serve the people in your life.

Instead of asking yourself what will happen if I ask? Ask yourself, what will happen if I don’t ask? 

Photo by William Stitt on Unsplash.

Thank you for sharing.


"I consider myself to be quite good at networking, and this course gave me quite a few new tools for my toolbox! I put Dave Delaney's approach to the test in selecting and attending a conference less than 2 weeks ago, and I landed a new client. Now that's an amazing ROI! Thanks Dave!" - Lesley Antoun.


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